Have you ever heard the phrase “Hey, Watch This”? The Southern corollary is “Here, hold my beer.” Regardless, it is a warning, and if you ever hear it, LOOK OUT!! The first time I heard this phrase was in the Army when the two guys flying the helicopter said “Hey, Watch This!” I immediately looked up in time to see us shorten the life span of a pine tree, and hear the follow-up statement of “Gee, that wasn’t supposed to happen, I mean that never happened before.............. (Clearly, Gee was not the actual word, but hey this is a story about kids......). I had never in my life noticed this rather simple phrase, but clearly it is a form of some ancient childhood ritual. (Which confirms my other theory about the military aviator..........). Unfortunately, my brief entry into the lumber business made it an indelible part of my life and now I notice this horrid phrase every time it is uttered. What is even more unfortunate is that the next time I heard it, the phrase was being spoken by the 7 year old.
I had no idea what was being discussed by the boys, but all of a sudden I heard the fateful phrase... “HEY WATCH THIS!!!” My response was immediate. . . . I dove under the couch screaming “INCOMMINGGGG!!” My bride looked at me like I had completely lost it, until she was struck in the side of her lovely head with a “Bat Something or Other Super Duper Caped” action figure. While she was unimpressed with the boys learning and studying aerodynamics, she was highly impressed with my apparent ability to know when to duck. When I explained the ancient language to her, she immediately picked up on the full import of the message. As fate would have it, she also picked up on the import of my not having prevented the action figure from becoming imbedded in her cheek. Her opinion was that I should have tried some super-human feat, thereby saving a little wear and tear on her glasses. My opinion was that instinct and good old fashioned Army Training made me dive for cover.
Still, she was more than impressed with my intuitive response, she appreciated the lesson learned, and she even appreciated my warning that something was about to happen. Of course, it was hard to explain to my lovely bride that Army training was necessary for child rearing, but after a rather brief discussion I think she was beginning to understand. Now if I could just get her hand print out of the back of my head................ (For the record, it is still there after all these years, only now we call it a “Gibbs” slap!) ~ Michael S. Pauley
I had no idea what was being discussed by the boys, but all of a sudden I heard the fateful phrase... “HEY WATCH THIS!!!” My response was immediate. . . . I dove under the couch screaming “INCOMMINGGGG!!” My bride looked at me like I had completely lost it, until she was struck in the side of her lovely head with a “Bat Something or Other Super Duper Caped” action figure. While she was unimpressed with the boys learning and studying aerodynamics, she was highly impressed with my apparent ability to know when to duck. When I explained the ancient language to her, she immediately picked up on the full import of the message. As fate would have it, she also picked up on the import of my not having prevented the action figure from becoming imbedded in her cheek. Her opinion was that I should have tried some super-human feat, thereby saving a little wear and tear on her glasses. My opinion was that instinct and good old fashioned Army Training made me dive for cover.
Still, she was more than impressed with my intuitive response, she appreciated the lesson learned, and she even appreciated my warning that something was about to happen. Of course, it was hard to explain to my lovely bride that Army training was necessary for child rearing, but after a rather brief discussion I think she was beginning to understand. Now if I could just get her hand print out of the back of my head................ (For the record, it is still there after all these years, only now we call it a “Gibbs” slap!) ~ Michael S. Pauley
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